I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
