There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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