Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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