I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize