Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
