we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
