Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
