Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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