Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Four minutes until I can fart!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
