billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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