yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
