i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
