everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
