Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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