you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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