Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i love accidental penises.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
