My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize