Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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