Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
