I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
