I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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