I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
