so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
