Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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