Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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