Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize