? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
