tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
