well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
