apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I sprained my soul last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
