So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize