Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
