This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize