did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize