Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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