You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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