I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
