yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
