He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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