I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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