I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I CAN MOONWALK!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
