she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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