So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
