I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
don't judge my taste in strippers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize