Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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