I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize