Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize