My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
did i just pee glitter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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