i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
