Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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