He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
