I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
