The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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