"it" just moved
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
smell my finger.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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