just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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