herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
