end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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