I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
