I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
