Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we're so committed to being not committed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
