you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
