I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
