Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
