The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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