She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
