She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
