Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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