Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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