I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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