you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
