I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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