Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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