She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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